funny tote bags

Carry what you need. Say what you mean. Funny tote bags for groceries, gym clothes and emotional baggage.

Carry the joke

Funny tote bags with something to say

Our funny tote bags are roomy organic cotton totes with the joke printed big, made for groceries, gym clothes and everything else you haul around. Pick from 263 designs, from sarcastic slogans to punny animals, each $40 and designed in the USA. Funny slogan tote bags say it for you, so you don't have to.

Say it out loud

Funny slogan tote bags for everyday errands

Funny slogan tote bags do the talking while you do the errands. “FERAL” is the one in the photo, for anyone who has stopped pretending otherwise. “Ew, People” is a cat who has met enough of them, “I Choose Violence” is a duck with a plan and “Mediocrates” is philosophy for people who think that'll do. Tote bags with sayings this blunt save a lot of small talk at the farmers market. Looking for a funny canvas tote bag that holds up? These are heavy 8 oz organic cotton twill.

FERALEw, PeopleI Choose ViolenceMediocrates
Smiling woman in a white shirt carrying the black FERAL tote bag

Carry snacks ✦ And opinions

For animal people

Cat and animal
tote bags

These animal tote bags are for people who'd rather be home with the animals. “Chonk Cat” is round and proud, “Be Otterly Kind” is two otters being nice about it and “Snaxalotl” is an axolotl with priorities, which is all any animal tote bag really needs. More cat picks live in our gifts for cat lovers, and the rest of the zoo is on our funny animal shirts page.

Chonk CatBe Otterly KindSnaxalotlgifts for cat loversfunny animal shirts

Hobbies included

Graphic tote bags for gym
and hobby people

Graphic tote bags for the stuff you actually do. “Burpees: Would Not Recommend” carries the gym clothes, “World's Okayest Runner” carries the race-day snacks and “Say Aloe to My Little Friend” carries the plant you didn't need. A gym bag with a joke beats one without.

Burpees: Would Not RecommendWorld's Okayest RunnerSay Aloe to My Little Friend

Easy gifting

Funny tote bags as gifts

A funny tote bag is an easy gift for the friend who carries snacks and opinions everywhere, and at $40 it covers a birthday, a thank-you or no reason at all. There are funny tote bags for women, men and anyone with too much stuff, so pick the design by the person. Every tote design also comes on a mug and a notebook, so pair it with our funny mugs or funny notebooks for a matching set, or browse more funny gifts for friends.

funny mugsfunny notebooksfunny gifts for friends
Woman on a cafe patio carrying the Shut the Fucupcakes cat tote bag

Built to haul

Organic cotton tote bags
with room to spare

Every tote is 100% certified organic cotton twill with a flat bottom and long 25″ self-fabric straps. It measures 20″ × 14″ × 5″, holds about 6 gallons and carries up to 30 lbs. Some designs come in a choice of black or oyster.

The practical stuff

Frequently Asked, Reluctantly Answered

Still wondering something?

Get in touch →
Where can I buy a funny tote bag?

You can buy funny tote bags right here at Birch & Bishop: 263 designs, each $40, made to order on organic cotton and designed in the USA. Sarcastic, punny, animal and gym graphic tote bags are all in the grid above. Your groceries deserve a personality.

Will a laptop fit in the tote bag?

Most will: every tote is 20″ × 14″ × 5″ with a flat bottom and long straps. That's room for a laptop, groceries or a full gym change. Or all three, if you're that person.

Are the tote bags organic cotton?

Yes. Every Birch & Bishop organic cotton tote bag is 100% certified organic cotton twill. Good for the planet, great for carrying your snacks.

How much can the tote bag carry?

Each tote holds about 6 gallons and up to 30 lbs. Your emotional baggage may exceed the weight limit.