Naughty list
Funny inappropriate Christmas shirts for grown-ups
Our funny inappropriate Christmas shirts are for the adults-only party and the dirty Santa swap: naughty Santas, innuendo and a few words your aunt won't repeat. All 10 designs come as tees from $22, tanks, crop tops, hoodies and sweatshirts, in adult sizes only and printed in the USA. Need one for the family photo? See our funny Christmas shirts.
Read it twice
Dirty Christmas shirts
with innuendo
Innuendo is the polite way to be inappropriate: the joke only lands with the people who get it. “Jingle Balls”, “Nice Package”, “It's Not Going to Lick Itself” and “Touch My Elf” say exactly what they mean, and some of it twice. Two ornaments hang a little close together on “Jingle Balls”, the gift on “Nice Package” has a very proud bow, and the elf on “Touch My Elf” is not sorry. The candy cane on “It's Not Going to Lick Itself” needs no explanation.
Naughty by nature ✦ Nice by accident
Off the nice list
Naughty Christmas shirts
starring Santa
“Big Nick Energy”, “Big Poppa” and “I Do It for the Ho's” give Santa a little too much confidence. “Jolly AF” keeps the cheer, with a swear and a drink in his hand. Each one puts a classic, rosy-cheeked Santa next to the joke, so it still reads as Christmas from across the room.
Adults only
Offensive Christmas shirts
for the adults' table
“Whose God Damn White Baby Is This” has questions about the nativity, and “Let's Get Lit (Raccoon)” brings the party. Save these for the crowd that already knows your sense of humor.
Fit check
Adult Christmas shirts for women and men
Pick the fit first, then the joke. The t-shirts come in four styles: Soft Cotton from $22, Everyday at $24, the extra-light Lightweight at $32 and the roomy, heavier Oversized at $40, the one wearing “Nice Package” here. Inappropriate Christmas t-shirts for women also come as Christmas tank tops ($29) and Relaxed or Boxy Christmas crop tops (from $28). Sizes run XS to 2XL depending on the style, and every product page has a size guide.
Stay cozy
Inappropriate Christmas sweatshirts and mugs
Every design also comes as a Christmas sweatshirt or hoodie, printed rather than knit: the funny alternative to an inappropriate Christmas sweater. The same jokes come on Christmas mugs from $15, totes and notebooks. For grown-up humor all year, shop all funny inappropriate shirts.
Do you have inappropriate Christmas shirts for couples?
We don't sell matching couples sets, but any two designs here make a pair: “Big Nick Energy” on one of you and “I Do It for the Ho's” on the other is the classic. Both come in the same styles, so you can match the fit and let the jokes argue.
Are these good for a dirty Santa gift exchange?
Yes. Every design here also comes on a mug (from $15), a tote bag and a hardcover notebook, so there's an adults-only pick for most gift-exchange budgets. Expect it to get stolen at least twice.
What's an inappropriate Christmas shirt that won't get me uninvited?
Pick a double meaning over a punchline, like “Jolly AF” or “Nice Package”; they're cheeky without being explicit. No promises about next year's invite, though.
Can I return a Christmas shirt if the joke doesn't land?
Yes. Unworn, unwashed items can be returned within 30 days of delivery for a refund; email support@birchandbishop.com to start a return. Birch & Bishop can't take back the look on your aunt's face, though.